It's wedding season! As an event planner (
and former bride) I've received numerous questions from both readers and friends asking what would be appropriate to wear to a wedding this season, so I thought it would be easiest to just do a post about it and share my wedding etiquette expertise with all of you!
The first step in deciding what to wear to a wedding is to look at the invitation (duh!). Most brides will indicate whether their wedding will be one of four following options:
- Casual
- Semi-Formal
- Formal
- Black Tie
Now rule of thumb is - if there is no indication on the invitation assume that the wedding is semi-formal. This is the most common attire for weddings. What is semi-formal? Well, for a day wedding (before 4 o'clock) semi-formal would be church appropriate clothing. Never been to Church? (shame on you!) I'm talking a nice sun dress, paired with some heels. The wedding is after 4 o'clock:? Pull out that LBD girl! Remember that your choice in footwear can 100% change the "feel" of an outfit. Say you're going to a 1 o'clock wedding on the beach - sundress and sandals would be appropriate. But if the wedding is at 5 o'clock on the beach - wear your LBD with some sandals to the ceremony (heels and sand do not mix - trust me on this one) pack your heels and change before the cocktail hour. And for your man? Same rules apply - church appropriate. It doesn't have to be a suit but I always suggest slacks, jacket, and a tie.
Formal weddings are a little more...well formal! Regardless of the time of day (there is no before 4 or after 4 rule here) an LBD or comparable dress is appropriate. No sandals or sundresses allowed here ladies. The thing to remember with Formal attire is that we're not talking prom or church - there's a place right between the two and that's where you want to be. It doesn't have to be an LBD, but a cocktail dress (no pant suits please) - it just can't be a sundress or a prom dress! And as for your man, now is the time he needs to wear a suit. No tux needed - that's black tie. But a suit, and if he doesn't own one (which he should) there are tons of affordable places to rent from. Still not sure? See below.
On to the black tie weddings. There is no before 4 or after 4 rule here either, if it's black tie they're usually at night, but on occasion will be during the day - the following rules apply to your attire. We are still not talking Prom. FORGET IT you will never get to wear that poofy pink dress again, sorry. The most important thing to remember when attending a black tie wedding is - do not (I repeat DO NOT) upstage the bride! This is her day not yours. The only reason I say this is because, when you're looking for a dress to wear to a black tie wedding, it's very easy to get carried away. Another thing to remember - cocktail dresses (if formal enough) can be worn! Depending on the venue that is. If it's a black tie beach wedding I would 100% recommend a cocktail dress. If it's at the Ritz, go for something a little longer - but keep the prom rule in mind. Your man? He needs to be in a tux - and again if he doesn't own one, rent one.
I would hope that I wouldn't have to explain the attire for a casual wedding. But just incase you're still not sure - this means pretty much anything goes. Guys usually show up in khakis, or even jeans. For ladies, I never suggest wearing jeans to any event, casual or not. But then again I am an advocate of dresses. A nice sundress and sandals would still be appropriate to a casual wedding.
So you're worried about what color to wear?
I always suggest going with seasonal colors or prints. I also am an advocate that only the bride should be wearing white - but at some point in the last five years it became ok for guests to wear white as well. For those that feel you can't wear black - you're wrong. Black is appropriate for every occasion, be it a happy one or (god forbid) a sad one. I would stay away from zebra print, cheetah print, or any kind of animal print for that matter (unless requested by the bride...or if her name is Snooky). Florals, polka dots, stripes - all acceptable. Also - another major rule - Don't skank it up. This is a wedding. Hide your crazy and act like a lady.
Hopefully I answered your questions, but if I didn't feel free to ask away!